I'll Stand by You
by WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Kid Fic One-shot. As the Day draws closer, Hanzo is doubting whether he'll make a good father. Though, in his mind, one thing is for certain: The child will not be his, and so the burden of Shimada will never fall upon them.


A/N: Hi guys! Another Kid fic (kinda) which I have been meaning to write for at least a month! I just want to thank CoughCoughSomva for her help with this story. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

 **I'll Stand by You**

It had begun about two months before the Day. Genji had come to see them, and Jesse couldn't contain himself when they'd showed him the pictures of their unborn child. Hanzo hadn't been able to hide his smile at the sight of his excited boyfriend. He was excited too, obviously, but felt he wouldn't really feel it truly until he'd be able to hold the baby in his arms.  
After letting his eyes linger on each pictures Genji had turned to Hanzo with a smile:  
"Well isn't it something? Hanzo, a dad?"  
The older brother had shrugged.  
"What can I say? Jesse was very convincing."  
Jesse had crossed his arms, a smirk on his lips.  
"Like you didn't want one too? Don't I recall you telling me how you wanted a little girl, so you could braid her hair and all?"  
Hanzo felt his cheeks grow hotter, and he looked away, back at the pictures now resting on the table. Most of them were a gray blur, supposed to show a seven-months-old fetus. Hanzo had trained himself to recognized which spot was what. The baby's big head, their chest, their arms, their legs. He could map it out in his sleep by now. A few were pictures of the woman carrying their future child, Demi. She was a friend Jesse had made during his many travels, living only on the other side of town. While they saw her at least once a week she'd sent them a couple of pictures of her growing belly, and Hanzo always felt mesmerized at the sight of them.  
"So, tell me," Genji asked. "Which one of you is the biological father, exactly?"  
They shared a glance, and Jesse's mouth open, only to close it again, not sure what to say. Finally, Hanzo explained:  
"We don't know yet. We both decided to try. Since we'll probably get only one, you know, it was hard to choose."  
Genji nodded and looked back at the pictures.  
"Well, sorry to disappoint you, Jesse, but I believe this little baby is Hanzo's. It has his forehead."  
Jesse smiled, leaning back in his armchair.  
"That's what I keep telling him."  
Hanzo shook his head.  
"I don't believe it will be mine. Fate always seems to favor Jesse."  
"Fate or Luck?" his boyfriend asked. "And are you just saying that because I always win at Monopoly?"  
Hanzo didn't reply. He had the intuition the baby was Jesse's, and that only made Hanzo gladder. At least, the burden of the Shimada bloodline would never weight on this baby's shoulder.  
Genji clapped his hands together, the sound of metal and carbon hitting each other taking Hanzo out of his mind.  
"Well, even if it isn't yours, brother, I can tell you one thing for sure: You'll be a better dad than father ever was."  
In the moment, Hanzo only nodded, taking in his brother's compliment. But later that night, and in the two months which followed, Hanzo would repeat those words to himself. A better father than the one they'd had. It wasn't hard, he knew. Their father had been a cold man, always demanding more of his sons, of him at least. But the more he thought about it, the more the same question plagued him: Could he really be better than the man who had raised him?  
He didn't tell Jesse about it, nor about the nightmare which began to plague his nights. But by the end, he had come to the same conclusion he'd come to months earlier: The child wouldn't have his blood, the Shimada blood, and the expectation coming with such a name would never trouble them. This answer was satisfactory enough for him. He would love Jesse's child like it was his own, be a good and loving father to them, and would never have to teach them how to control the dragon's fury. This situation pleased him greatly.

* * *

They'd picked up Demi at her apartment on the due day, by mid-morning. Just as they had reached the large hospital Demi had felt a strong contraction. Hanzo couldn't help but smirk. This baby was right on time, another reason why it could only be Jesse's.  
As it had been agreed upon, Jesse was the only one permitted in the room with the doctors. The gynecologist had explained that it was dangerous if the room got too crowded. So as soon as the contractions had become too close Hanzo had exited the room, and found a seat right next to it, in the corridor. With nothing to do but wait and listen to the painful cries coming from inside, he stayed on his phone for most of the ordeal. Years of training had given him nerves of steel, but it was barely enough to contain his nervousness. He wanted to keep his mind away from everything, from his child being born in the next room, for all his worries over fatherhood. He texted Genji.  
Hanzo "The baby is on its way."  
Genji "Do you want me to come by?"  
Hanzo "Not right now. Maybe in a few hours?"  
Genji "Alright, call me when the baby's out!"  
After that, and since there wasn't any other family to contact, Hanzo kept his mind busy, wandering through the Internet, reading whatever articles he could find on whatever subject he thought was slightly interesting. Yet with every scream or muffled sound passing through the wall, his mind couldn't help but wander back to the baby soon to be born. He felt it in his heart it would be a girl, he had ever since they'd since the first ultrasounds. They had thought of a few names, of course, but had yet to decide. Hanzo's didn't feel he preferred any of those they'd picked.  
After what felt like hours the door to the room opened, and the doctor walked out, pulling bloodied gloves off his hands.  
"Mr. Shimada?"  
Hanzo stood up and pocketed his phone. His heart was beating quickly, yet the world seemed to be slowing down around him.  
"Congratulation, it's a little girl. You can come in."  
Hanzo felt his breath catch in his throat. A girl. The gods had heard his prayers. He smiled dumbly and walked passed the man, inside the small room. The nurses were finishing to clean up everything, but he ignored them. He only had eyes for Jesse, seating beside Demi's chair, as the woman, exhausted, had fallen asleep. He held in his arms a small bundle of pink blankets, so close to his face it was almost ridiculous. Hanzo thought he could cry at the sight. When Jesse heard his footsteps he looked up, a bright smile on his face. He stood up.  
"Come closer hon'" he beckoned him in a murmur.  
So Hanzo did. He walked closer to his boyfriend, who carefully moved the bundle in his arms to show Hanzo a little face.  
"Meet our little girl."  
Hanzo's gaze looked down, and he felt his heart sinking into his chest. The girl was half-awake, her slanted dark eyes struggling to stay open. A tuft of black hair rested on top of her head, as if the large feather of a raven had fallen there. She was his after all.

* * *

When their little girl was taken to the nursery with the other babies, Jesse followed, and he would have probably slept on the bench right next to the door if he'd been allowed to, just to be close to her. Hanzo had to bring him home and remind him that they had to make sure they had everything they needed.  
Though he was excited and happy like a kid on Christmas morning, Jesse could see Hanzo didn't share his joy. He asked him many times during the rest of the day, but Hanzo always answered the same thing. He was still in shock, but it would pass. Once home Jesse checked twice on everything they'd bought, while Hanzo prepared them dinner and did every other chore he could think off to keep his mind occupied.  
He was doing the dishes when two strong arms wrapped around his waist, and Jesse rested his head on his shoulder. Hanzo felt his back relax slightly. He placed another plate on the drying rack and shut the tap. He managed to reach for the cloth to dry his hands without moving, while Jesse let go of his waist to show him something.  
"Here, I thought we could bring this one to the princess tomorrow, to keep her company."  
Hanzo looked longly at the plush. It was a cat with a cowboy hat, one Hanzo had found in a toy shop a few months ago and had suggested would probably be a good plush for their child. He felt his throat tighten at the sight of it.  
"Sure, why not?"  
Jesse signed, and placed the plush aside, only to make Hanzo turn to face him. He took his hands, and his eyes met his.  
"Are you going to tell me what's bugging you, now? Is it because you're her biological dad?"  
Hanzo looked down.  
"It has to do with it, yes."  
Jesse pushed lightly his chin to force him to look up, but his eyes continued to avoid his.  
"Babe, look at me."  
Hanzo pursed his lips but obeyed. There was so much concern in Jesse's eyes that he wanted to cry right then and there.  
"I know you're scared. I'm not. If she has the dragon in her, then I know you'll teach her how to control it. I mean, Genji managed to control it and he wasn't the best student there ever was. And this little girl, she's going t need you if she does have it. And if she doesn't, she's still going to need you."  
Hanzo knew he was on the verge of crying, his throat tight and his eyes stinging. Instead, he hugged Jesse close, burying his head in his chest. Jesse passed a hand through his hair, keeping him close.

* * *

Neither of them slept that night. Jesse was too excited at the idea of seeing his daughter again the next day, though his concern for Hanzo sometimes came clouding his mind. Hanzo thought almost all night. If this little girl had the dragon. If she didn't. Either way, Jesse was right. She would need him, and he wouldn't disappoint her. He didn't want to. He wanted to hold her close and tell her everything would be alright because he was there.  
When they reached the hospital the next day, they took the time to check on Demi, who was reading, only waiting for the doctor's discharge to walk out of here, her good deed accomplished. After thanking her again and again, Jesse finally couldn't wait anymore and rushed to the nursery to see his daughter. Hanzo followed, anxiousness building in his chest.  
When he reached the nursery, Jesse was already inside. Hanzo stood in front of the window, his gaze fixed on his boyfriend. Jesse was seating in a chair in the corner of the small room, their baby girl held close in his arms. He was cooing over her, as he had done the previous day. Hanzo hesitated. They were a picture of perfection, and he feared he would break it inevitably if he walked in. The little girl began to fidget in Jesse's arms, and he rocked her lightly, worry creasing his eyebrows.  
Finally, Jesse looked up, noticing Hanzo on the other side of the window. He smiled, and waved at him, beckoning to come join him. Hanzo felt his knees tremble. Should he join him? His feet seemed to move on their own accord, taking him to the door. His hand, shaking, pressed on the handle. The door opened.  
"Come on!" Jesse said excitedly.  
Hanzo obeyed, moving closer to their daughter. She was wiggling in her father's grasp, trying to look at her other father. Hanzo stopped just a foot from her, his eyes falling on hers. They were the same, he noticed. She smiled, her eyes shining. She freed one of her hand from her blanket, reaching out to him.  
"I think she wants you to hold her." Jesse declared with a smile.  
Hanzo hesitated, once again. What if he harmed her? What if he let her fall? Jesse didn't give him too much time to think. He stood up carefully, still cradling the baby, and stepped aside.  
"Sit down, it'll be easier."  
Hanzo obliged, only because he thought his legs would give underneath him at any given minute. Jesse moved closer, ready to drop their daughter into his arms. Hanzo, by pure reflex, was ready to pick her up. She slid into his arms easily, like she was always meant to be there, and he looked down at her as she came to rest against his chest. She was still smiling, happy to see him. Hanzo let out a sob.  
"Hello. I'm your father."  
Tears began to fall down his cheeks, but he couldn't brush them away. His chest was filled with a warm glow he knew could only be happiness. Jesse sat on the armrest beside him, and let him cry. He needed it, he knew. Hanzo continued to stare down at his daughter, holding her as closely as he could.  
"What should we name her?" he finally asked, through the sobs.  
"Well, I know we had agreed on a few names, but I think I've found a better one." Jesse declared, visibly closed to tears as well.  
Hanzo looked up at him, ready to hear what he had to say.  
"How about Amanda? It means 'Worthy of Love'."  
Hanzo let out another sob and looked down at his daughter. Amanda.


End file.
